Quite literally – self-pleasure is undoubtedly an important and vital part of self-care, despite what the conservative establishment might be trying to tell you. Kitty and Sara from Other Nature, a Berlin-based feminist, queer and vegan sex shop, are here to tell you how to go on about fucking yourself (and others) ethically.
Throughout the month, we’ll be revealing bits and pieces of our first printed mag, bearing the topic SELF, allowing even those who cannot afford to buy it a bit of the glamorousness we managed to assemble for it!
Why is self-pleasure important?
Self-pleasure means taking matters into your own hands – literally! It can be very empowering to be in charge of your own pleasure, and it’s also a way of taking responsibility for your sexuality.
When we masturbate, we can focus completely on ourselves. That’s a different experience from being with a lover, and might allow us to prioritise our own pleasure more, to explore new sensations with a feeling of safety, or even to heal from sexual trauma.
Our sexual relationship with ourselves is the one we’re going to have for our whole lives, so it makes sense to nurture it!
Why is it important to care about ethics when we choose our sex aids, be it sex toys or porn?
For a long time sex has been associated with harm, and sex-positivity is about shifting the discourse so that we can think about sexuality in relation to – perhaps as an integral part of – wellbeing. That naturally leads to questions about our own wellbeing (“do I want to put something toxic into my body, or something safe and hygienic?”) as well as about the wellbeing of others (“who made this toy, under what working conditions?”) and, ultimately, the planet.
Trying to be an ethical consumer means deciding as an individual what is important. You might prioritise locally-made prod- ucts, or those produced by queer-owned businesses; one person will favour DIY-porn depicting real orgasms, while another looks for production companies who pay performers and crew well for their labour. Our job is to help you get as much infor- mation as possible, so that you can make choices you feel good about.
What advice or tips would you give to sex toy novices?
The choice of toys available can be overwhelming – but don’t be afraid! There is so much out there that the chances are high that there’s something for you. Something to consider could be how you might like to use your toy, e.g. to produce a sensa- tion you already know you like, or to explore something new? This can help direct your browsing. Encourage your curiosity, explore your options and get informed about non-toxic materials before you make a purchase. You can always contact Other Nature for help! And definitely check out the guide to Choosing Your Toy on our website, where you’ll find lots more tips and advice.
Want to read more? The rest of the interview can be found in our first printed magazine Kink Print: SELF – get your copy here!
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